there are those days where one looks around and realizes they are alive and really really part and parcel of their own experience....at lease I have those days. The thing I have discovered is that I am so busy doing things that I sometimes forget that I am creating my life while I am doing. I used to live in a headspace where "do" was separate from "create" which was separate from "fun". Somewhere it all began to blend together. I became a mum, a student, and an activist. I became less of a by-the -clock worker, in my insomniac-spare-time artist, singer, lover, friend, athlete. It was all so gradual and overshadowed by immediate and necessary action--feeding children, writing papers, taking exams, filling out forms, going to doctors, arranging and then juggling childcare...
I love what I do these days. I love connecting with other activists and writing about what is going on in this country and others. I love going to conferences and board meetings and arguing for rights for women, mothers, students, disabled persons, children. I love my children. But I must admit do not enjoy the stress of it all right now. There is nothing to enjoy really when every minute is spent scrambling to address needs. I miss how much fun it can be.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
on a Tuesday
this is one of those days. I came across a woman hating website that blames single mothers for all the problems of difficult teens, the lack of morality in the world. While said site rants on about the failures of single mother led families, it fails to mention POVERTY and LACK OF RESOURCES as possible reasons/explanations why women led houses may have multiple challenges. I will write more on this at a time when i am not so challenge by a day.
further on my day, i had a productive morning working on the NAAS survey. i have gathered what are hope are the key articles, read and made notes on them and now i write.
my reminder, from the servants of the gods, that I am only a single woman with disabilities and two sons with challenges beyond even professionals capable hands, is this--no daycare for you woman, parent, activist. I was fully funded and had been lead to believe all would be fine and so patiently waited while they were late with the paperwork. NO IT IS NOT OKAY to change a woman's funding like this. what it means is that i have to withdraw my sons out childcare and try to still work from home with them arriving a little after 3 PM and that they will be home and active as ever on all pro-D days and all holidays ( i have to work through this and it may mean working at night and sleeping while they are at school. I certainly do not wish to turn to the days when i was working, completing school and not sleeping leading me down the path of nervous breakdown.
I am going to rant and rail at those of you who are sleepy or lazy or ill-informed...get your sorry butts out there with your ID and your proof of address and VOTE on the 14th. you can find what you need on the web and you can research online the candidates. make good choices. show respect for the diversity of people who live in our country when you think about who should lead them. do not live as a person who does least harm, but as a person who does their most good in all situations. and when you can't breathe and think how you can still keep working. I have experienced great moments when like minded people came together, organized and stood past the cold and voted. the ability to change the world takes commitment of the best that you can give. that best changes on a day to day basis but it is the potential in each individual to do this.
ps I watched a movie that made me cry but still found inspiring--My life without me, 2003 directed by Isabel Coixet, starring Sarah Polley, ... It is based on the book Pretending the Bed Is a Raft by Nanci Kincaid. I so want to read that book now
I am off for now and hope a better day is ahead. I have not yet written my experience attending STAND for Housing put on by CALM at Little Mountain. personally, i wanted to squat in one of those empty suites to escape my heatless hell called home.
further on my day, i had a productive morning working on the NAAS survey. i have gathered what are hope are the key articles, read and made notes on them and now i write.
my reminder, from the servants of the gods, that I am only a single woman with disabilities and two sons with challenges beyond even professionals capable hands, is this--no daycare for you woman, parent, activist. I was fully funded and had been lead to believe all would be fine and so patiently waited while they were late with the paperwork. NO IT IS NOT OKAY to change a woman's funding like this. what it means is that i have to withdraw my sons out childcare and try to still work from home with them arriving a little after 3 PM and that they will be home and active as ever on all pro-D days and all holidays ( i have to work through this and it may mean working at night and sleeping while they are at school. I certainly do not wish to turn to the days when i was working, completing school and not sleeping leading me down the path of nervous breakdown.
I am going to rant and rail at those of you who are sleepy or lazy or ill-informed...get your sorry butts out there with your ID and your proof of address and VOTE on the 14th. you can find what you need on the web and you can research online the candidates. make good choices. show respect for the diversity of people who live in our country when you think about who should lead them. do not live as a person who does least harm, but as a person who does their most good in all situations. and when you can't breathe and think how you can still keep working. I have experienced great moments when like minded people came together, organized and stood past the cold and voted. the ability to change the world takes commitment of the best that you can give. that best changes on a day to day basis but it is the potential in each individual to do this.
ps I watched a movie that made me cry but still found inspiring--My life without me, 2003 directed by Isabel Coixet, starring Sarah Polley, ... It is based on the book Pretending the Bed Is a Raft by Nanci Kincaid. I so want to read that book now
I am off for now and hope a better day is ahead. I have not yet written my experience attending STAND for Housing put on by CALM at Little Mountain. personally, i wanted to squat in one of those empty suites to escape my heatless hell called home.
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